Merry Christmas from the Benwares

Eucharisteo

Burdened by my weary soul, a few tears fell from my face to my winter sweater.  A whispered cry for a miracle, so faint probably not audible, to the Creator of the Universe.  Does my heart trust and believe that God wants what is best?

Blurred by my vision, I ignored the 11 month old daughter teetering toward me.  Just awake, fed, alert, and jovial, she stopped infront of me smiling ear to ear.  I picked her up and hugged her tight.  She popped her thumb in her mouth and laid on my chest.  Five minutes went by with eyes still open, ten minutes, eleven, twelve, and eyes shut.  Eucharisteo; the Lord knows and is here.  Thankfulness in the moment for what I do have; a moment so rare it must have been created by the Creator. 

And then He speaks, "Thanks comes before the miracle."

A simple reminder repeated over and over in the book I've been reading, "A Thousand Gifts".  Will I see my Christmas miracle?  I pray I will a bit more fervently and live in the moment with eucharisteo, my only daughter nestled on my chest.

This is all I want; to be a "Mommy".  Thank you Jesus.

A Few Questions

Any insight is appreciate:

• How does one pronounce "Worcestershire" sauce?

• Is it normal to wait at the Pediatritian's office 1hr and 45minutes, as seems to be the norm for Riley's pediatrician?

• Will Riley really notice Christmas lights in her room at 11 months or should I just wait for next year?

• Why was "Drew" taken off of X-Factor?  (She is the one I'd buy a cd from.)

• Does anyone know the perfect room temp to keep one's place warm enough for the baby but not so hot you can't sleep at night?

Holiday Family Fun

Riley with her cousin Bethany (Benware side), who is 5 1/2 months older.  She is loving her play pals!

A mimic photo shoot by our awesome bro-in-law, Jeremiah.  All inspired by a picture that I saw last Christmas and dreamed of re-enacting when Riley could sit.  And thanks to the Santa hat found in the dollar section at Target that made the pictures possible!

Looking Back

Riley at Daddy's practice field.

The 2011 soccer season has come to a close, at least for the University of the Cumberlands.  The Patriots played the #4 team in the nation, Rio Grande, in the semi-final conference tournament game.  The Patriots out shot and out played Rio the entire game but lost 1-2.  The Rio commentators said they were lucky to have won and that the only other game that made them nervous, this season, was against the #1 team in the nation, Lindsey Wilson.  As disappointing as it was to lose, the Cumberland men's team played truly well.  Their final regular season record was 9-5-2 and their post-season record was 1-1.

On another note, I find it interesting that the other men's teams Brenton has coached, Oklahoma Wesleyan University and Montreat College, both won their conference tournaments.  This means that those teams now advance to the national tournament.  I'm proud of my husand and his ability to help build successful soccer programs.  Though we have moved on, I know a good deal of Brenton's commitment and work made these programs what they are today.  As humble as he is, he may never admit this; but I know it to be true.

Raw but Real

Dare I say it?  "Hope; it's paralyzing."  I heard this phrase on tv.  I have been living under this lie, numbly responding to each new day.  Not feeling, seems to make functioning easier.  I have thought it now for the past month and the Lord knows my every thought.  Why keep it from Him, you; it's real.  It is how I feel.

Dare I face it?  "...Awakening to joy awakens to pain... they are but two arteries of the one heart that pumps through all those who don't numb themselves to really living."  Last night, in my dimly lit room; alone I sat, there.  Again, I am just here; I feel little, not wanting to feel, hope, or be disappointed more.  My mother-in-law recently gave me the book, A Thousand Gifts.  It is about finding thankfulness in every moment, eucharisteo.  I read the first few chapters wanting to put it down and not feel.  Hope seems false, and reading the Word only creates hope.  And, how can I not feel hope when I read His Word?  Yes, I confess, I have been avoiding God for the past few weeks.  Silly and ridiculous, as one cannot avoid the omnipresent God of the universe.  However, feeling is painful.  Finally; someone understood and I don't feel condemned for my thoughts.  Reality; I just want to face it and move on.

The difference, I want to face reality and move on, not having to feel; but eucharisteo calls for feeling pain which means I have to face disappointment.  How does one choose eucharisteo?  I know; I grew up in church.  I must choose to be content.  But, having someone else identify and recognize this hard reality is comfort.  We will all face pain; the question is when.  Everyone will die, people will disappoint us, our world is fallen; it's only a matter of time until we face this harsh reality.  It was late and I didn't finishing reading, but I will.  Eucharisteo calls.

Dare I believe it?  "Hope against hope... there is no shame in hope."  Dare I hope to find I am disappointed again?  Will I choose to hope and take the chance that the answer is not what I want or need?  God is faithful and always provides; His Word says those very words (above) that sustain me, though my heart wants to run the other way.  Ironically, I am unable to run cause the very depths of my heart know God is able.  That is why the walls.

However, they will not stand for long.  He is able and He is everywhere.  Garland twirls up the lampposts in our small downtown, netted lights tangle with the pine trees across the street, and jolly holiday songs play in Walmart.  Yes, even before Thanksgiving!  Christmas lifts my spirits; and I remember that Christmas is only because of the Savior, His birth.  Hope.  He came as a Savior, but not as expected.  He wants me to hope, though knowing His way is often not as expected.  I cannot run and I cannot hide; He is omnipresent and omniscient, so here I am... raw but real.

Fall Refresher

As the weather cools and a few last leaves hold onto life, fall speaks loudly.  Winter is coming and times are changing.  Regular season has come to an end and the boys are preparing for conference tournament.  Their first game is home this Saturday.  Remember you can follow live stats by clicking on the soccerball to the right.

Last week, Brenton's parents came for their annual fall visit and were able to make the team's last three regular season games.  All wins; the final score posted below!  We had a wonderful time enjoying cool weather, taking walks and visiting Cumberland Falls.  Thanks for the fun times Mama and Daddy B.

Oh yes, and Riley was a cow for Halloween.  Thanks for your votes!

Riley's Halloween Costume Contest

Which is your favorite?  Help us choose Riley's costume for Halloween in the poll above...

Broccoli & Cheddar Soup

provided by: grouprecipes.com

One of my and Brenton's favorite soups.  Found it searching Panera Bread's recipe.  Not sure I'd say it is a match but definitely tastes like Broccoli & Cheddar from a restaurant.  And, pretty easy to boot.  Mmmm!

(Thought it was initially a bit strong and softened it with a little extra chicken stock.  Also, careful with the salt, as it really isn't needed.  I added a little more pepper to cut our the stronger nutmeg taste.  I might go a little easier on the nutmeg next time... just being technical but it truly was amazing.) 

Ingredients

1 tbls. butter, melted
1/2 onion, finely chopped
1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup butter, melted
2 cups half & half
2 cups chicken stock
1/2 lb. fresh broccoli
1 cup carrots, finely chopped
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
Salt & pepper, to taste
2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese

Directions

• Saute onion in 1 tbls. butter
• In another pan, cook melted butter and flour , whisking over medium heat for 3-4 minutes
• Slowly add half & half while continuing to whisk
• Add chicken stock, while continuing to whisk
• Once it starts to simmer, let simmer for 20 minutes
• Add broccoli, carrots and onions
• Cook over low heat until veggies are tender
• Add salt and pepper
• Pour in batches into blender and mix or use immersion blender
• Return to pot and over low heat, add cheese, stirring until well blended
• Stir in the nutmeg

Acorn Donuts

photo & recipe provided by familyfun.go.com



Ingredients

Chocolate Frosting or Peanut Butter

Donuts

Crumbled Toffee

Pretzel



Instructions

1.Frost a third or so of a plain or glazed doughnut hole with chocolate frosting or peanut butter.

2.Roll the frosted top in crumbled toffee (look for it in the baking section of grocery stores), then add a small piece of a pretzel for the stem.

Giggle Giggle Dada

Craft of the Season: Waxpaper Fall Leaves

Cutest, easiest and cheap fall craft.  Here's for the next rainy day or to those of you who have kids that get bored easy.  Just click on the following phrase, fall leaves, and you'll get step by step instructions.

Posers

Here is our little poser who has learned how to get attention.  She giggled and smiled everytime the flash went off.  Her latest, she laughs at the most opportune moments and always in the car.  Then we laugh back and on she goes, giggling away.  We just had our 9 month appointment; Riley now weighs 21.2 lbs.

And Lexi, she is long-suffering these days.  She sniffs Riley's bottom when she has a dirty diaper and bathes her any chance she gets.  However, when Riley comes her way or starts babbling, Lexi leaves the childish play to go nap upstairs.

Featherbrained Nonsense

I was at a prayer meeting with our young adult group this week as I have been trying to get more involved with church, and Brenton is often busy in the fall.  And to have an outlet, a means of purpose.  Our young adult meets weekly through a variety of activities.  This week was our monthly prayer meeting in place of bible study. 

First off, I was stupid in staying up until 4am the night before, so I went wishing I could stay at home with my man and baby.  And, side note, for those with children, I do realize that stupid is no the new "s" word as our daughter begins to understand our words.  Yikes!!!  This is going to be a journey.  And so I wondered how on earth I'd be able to stay awake with my eyes closed for an hour plus.  Amazingly, the Lord helps you focus when you're willing to spend time with Him.  I didn't fight the "zzzz's" until I got in the dark car to go home!

How I wish I was more faithful in really devoting good chunks of time to the Lord in prayer.  What a renewing and refreshing evening.  I went home rejuvenated and so peaceful.  Even still, what stuck with me was confession time as we went through ACTS (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication).  A wise, seasoned lady prayed, "God, forgive me for not being more self-controlled with my emotions in the way they affect those closest to me."

I had just prayed, "Lord, forgive me for trusting myself more than You, and for often trying to keep hold of the reigns to my life."  And, yet, when I heard this prayer on self-control, I thought how pertinent it was to my life also.

Isn't it ironic that we rely on ourselves and trust our instinct more easily than the Lord and His infinite wisdom?  What is more ironic, I just agreed through prayer that I lack self-control and, yet, I find myself trusting in my own control more than the God of the Universe.  What is wrong with me? 

I sat a little befuddled and amused at the featherbrained irony of my thinking and actions, and grateful at how often the Lord chooses means to remind me who really needs to be steering my life in the right direction. 

Ride, Swing, Smile: A Baby's Joy Ride

Today was Riley's first day at the park.  Daddy had an away game so the girls took a stroll.  Riley leaned forward, curious about the world, as all our walks begin.  After a while she lounged back in her stroller, until we came across the big play structure with twirling slides, multiple levels and colorful gadgets.  Ms. Sleepy woke out of her groggy state real quick.  She leaned forward again, her little head bobbling, as we off-roaded toward the swings.  The smell of acorns and feel of fall greeted us as we crunched across last year's dead leaves.  As soon as I put that presh doll in her swing she began to giggle and smile so big.  Her innocent giggles floated along the breeze and away we went, swinging and sliding forward; as you can tell we are still a bit small for the swing.  But, oh boy, was it fun for both mom and daughter!

Applauding the Savior

Previously I mentioned our daughter's response to Jesus being nailed to the cross was, "Ha".  We were encouraged tonight when she applauded to Christ's resurrection. 

Thank goodness her daddy has been teaching her how to clap and give five.  It's fun to see her using her new skills.  Hopefully she is learning to be a little more reverent when it comes to the Savior.

"He's arose! Our Lord is alive!"

We rejoice with Riley and the angels in heaven, giving Christ Jesus the King a resounding applause.

The Only One Truly Deserving

As I lovingly cut my daughter's profile out of ivory paper, I was so careful to perfectly shape every curve of her face.  I wanted her beautiful face to perfectly mirror her image, without any imperfections.  And, as I cut, I was filled with awe.  How did the Creator make such a perfect nose, chin, forehead, and child?  She could not be any more wonderful.  And to think He created her with even more care than I used in the multiple profiles I cut and with even more perfection than I could imitate with paper.  He is God and I am human, flawed.

"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!  How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!" Romans 11:33  Oh God our God, you are beautiful and perfect are your ways.  Who are we to question you and your ways?  And, yet, you desire a relationship with us, one that allows us to ask, seek and question.  Does this not warrent a relationship of reverence?

In Genesis, six times, Abraham petitions with the Lord to save any remaining godly followers from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.  The first time it says Abraham "drew near" to the LORD and asked. The second time he refers to himself as "dust and ashes" before he requests the LORD to change His mind.  Two other times Abraham requests that the Lord not be angry, but petitions that the LORD would save the city even for 10 followers of God. (Genesis 18) 

Abraham who knew God and spoke with God, treaded lightly.  He approached the God of the universe with humility, knowing the LORD's ways were greater than his finite understanding.  God's own son, Jesus Christ approached the father with brokeness.  "In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence." (Hebrews 5:7a)  And He was heard because of His "reverence".

Even though God allows us to call Himself  "Abba Father", Daddy, and know Him intimately, should we not have a reverent fear of Him.  Do we approach God too casually?  And does this mean that God may not hear our prayers if we do not approach Him with the right attitude or motive? 

And will we trust Him, "the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God" with whatever response He chooses?  God heard both Abraham and Jesus, but He did not answer both their prayers in the means requested.  God told Abraham He would save Sodom and Gomorrah if there were 10 godly people and there were not, so He destroyed the cities with fire and sulfur.  Jesus, His son, He allowed to die on the cross though Christ asked that, "this cup be taken from me." 

Is God any less for allowing Christ to die?  On the contrary, He is glorified even more that He gave up His only son to save each of us from our own sin.  God made the greatest sacrifice He could make and we question His wisdom.  The least we can do is approach the only true God, who wants to know us personally, with reverence and trust His will completely.

"Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire." (Hebrews 12:28-29)

Riley Girl & Her Giggles

Our sweet, sweet girl loves story time.  Everyday she curls up in my lap for a few stories, one of the few times she will stay still.  Her favorite, the touch and feel books.  She gently strokes the sheep's coat and the puppy's fur.  And when we go through animal sounds she always softly copies the elephant's squeal. 

A few nights ago we were reading about Jesus dynig and resurrecting.  When I read to her the part that Jesus was nailed to the cross she let out a short, sarcastic laugh, "Ha".  Brenton and I looked at each other, amazed at her timing and reaction.  If I didn't know better, I'd say she is a bit sacrilegious.  Hopefully, this is no indication of her future when she has the ability to critically think.

And, yes, those giggles now grace us often.  We love the childish joy that radiates from Riley.  It takes so little to make her laugh that the other day I was on the phone with AT&T, and everytime the automated answering service asked a question she laughed.  The automated voice finally sent me to technical services when I called about a billing question.  Oh this gal is so precious!

How Deep Is Your Faith?

A generation of complacency and comfort, believing whisper after whisper about the "American Dream"; could it be that we have found ourselves in a broken and struggling country for our lust of things, more, and living lives of pleasure?  Even if God did not allow such terrible happenings in America for this reason, would we put it past Him to use these very events to shape us and break us?  Is He not a jealous God who wants our undivided attention and love?

We are a generation of comfort, and I strongly believe God did not create us to be comfortable.  In Revelation He talks about spitting those who are lukeware out of his mouth.  We are riding a fine line in our modern world.  So how do we daily live non-complacent lives in America?  The only answer I can think of is by falling so in love with our Savior that we want to be anything but honoring to Him.  And if we don't choose a life of discomfort and one where He receives all glory, He'll take us there.

I'm not saying to get rid of all the things you do not need, never splurge on Starbucks or stop going out on date nights.  Money and things are not bad, they just make it all the more difficult to leave us reliant on God.  I don't think the Lord is saying we cannot enjoy life, but how do we find that balance?  And it what ways is He wanting to stretch my comfort?  Well, that's subjective to each person and their circumstances.  That is an answer you'll have to seek from the Lord.

Where is all this coming from?  Abraham was so faithful in leaving his home land, wandering the desert and believing that God would provide a son for him.  He was so committed to the LORD that God gave him, Isaac.  And what greater joy is there than holding your own child in your arms, knowing you get to spend the rest of your life pouring into such a sweet being?  Abraham was so faithful that not too many years later the same LORD asked him to sacrifice this same precious gift.  His child.

Your child; could you, upon hearing the word of the Lord, get up early to sacrifice your only child?  Abraham did not delay.  Knowing he served a faithful God, he got up early to give up one of the promises he had waited years for. 

My first thought, "Why?"  Abraham, over 100 years old, had lived a long life and finally received a blessing from above just to be tested again?  Why?  Hand raised, the LORD called down to Abraham and stopped him from sacrificing his son, "'Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.'"

Was leaving his homeland, giving up his people and his religion to go to a foreign place for a foreign God not enough?  No, the LORD still wanted to know that Abraham feared Him.  If Abraham, a man of great faith, and at 100 years is still being tested by God, then why would the Lord not also stretch our faith.  Would God not need to test our faith even more?

How might the testing of our faith manifest itself in our culture today, you ask?  What about a hurting economy, hundreds of thousands of people needing jobs, financial difficulties, loss, death, wars, and natural disasters worldwide?  When our faith is tested, our comfort is shaken and the depth of our faith is revealed.  Have you been stretched out of your comfort lately?  If so, what was your reaction and was the Lord glorified by your faith.   

The greatest truth I have been learning lately; it is all for His glory.  What will it take for the LORD to receive glory from your life and how deep is your faith?  Will the Lord have to stretch you to see how committed you are to Him?

Faith Counted as Righteousness

At the age of 75, pagan and fatherless, Abram was told he would be made a great nation. Only a man, and not a follower of God, Abram did what any man would do and left Haran for Canaan (Genesis 12). Or did he? Would you leave your home, your people, and go to an unknown place with the promise that you would "make a great nation"?

Take note that this means leaving everything familiar, for the past seventy years. And not only that, but how would you ever make a great nation when you are 75 years old and fatherless? And why would you follow, the LORD, a God you had never served or worshipped because you and your people believed in other gods? Would you not at least want to do a little research or consult a few wise individuals before you uprooted everything familiar for a promise so far off and distant?

Abram did as instructed by God. With blind faith he left home, religion and his people for the Lord, not letting age or impossibilities hinder his decision. That is a man of faith. One that Romans says his "faith was counted as righteousness," just as ours can be (Romans 4:22). However, like any man, he was human and not perfect. Both he and Sarah laughed when the LORD told them they would have a child, Abraham at the age of 99. We see other times in the Word that Abraham lacked faith, and yet he is the biblical example of faith.

What does that say for us. We feel weak, we doubt, we struggle as Paul did and find ourselves doing the exact things we do not want to do. We are human, just like Abraham. We have made mistakes and we will make plenty more. Oh, but God is so much greater than our limitations. In Romans 4:24, we are told that our faith can also be counted as righteousness if we "believe in Him who raised from the dead Jesus our Lord."

"He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah's womb. No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised." Romans 4:20-23

Did the same Abraham in the verse above have moments of weakness? Yes, emphatically. He is the same man that Genesis 17:17 says fell on his face and laughed when God told him Sarah would bear him a son. The same man who slept with Sarah's maid servant to have a son since he could not humanly see how he could patiently wait for God to provide his means of making a great nation. How many times have you tried to do God's job or made life more difficult for yourself because you could not wait for God's answer or timing?

And, again, this man is considered most Christian's spiritual example of faith. God apparently wanted us to know that, however human we are, we also can have "faith counted as righteousness". Abraham, in his finite understanding, could not understand how God could do these thing with all his human limitations. Like you and I, he had moments of doubt, unsettledness and questioning; but, he kept his faith.

God knows what we are thinking. So why hide it? Talk it out with Him. Share your battles with your Father, but always go back to His promises. If you go back to the ways He has been faithful, you may have moments of weakness but you cannot stay there. There are times you want to scream or cry, and believe me I do let those tears flow. Yet you will find yourself so much more intimate with the Savior than you knew possible. And that ever constant truth that He is faithful, just won't seem to let you cry for long. Why shed tears when you know you will be saved?

Blog Readers, Soccer Fans & Riley Lovers

Thought it was interesting and have been meaning to tell my blog readers that during worship, two weeks ago, the pastor spoke about "abiding"; a few days after my post Abide. As you can tell, it is my current life theme, just going with it. And proud to draw attention to my Savior's name, Jesus.

And if you are interested in following the University of the Cumberlands Men's Soccer team, you can find updates on the right hand sidebar just under "Followers". Also, you can click on the picture of the soccerball to follow live game stats or pull up the teams webpage.

Speaking of, the athletic trainers are making spaghetti for the boys and using our place to serve the team this evening. We've enjoyed getting to know a new group of guys and have been blessed by our ministry. Please join us in praying for the team and that God would be glorified.

And for those Riley lovers... the boys on the team take good care of our girl. Some wave at her during warm ups and others make sure she gets to cover when it's raining. I often find they rush to her side much more quickly than I do! It's too precious.

Does Your Cup Overflow?

I must say that over the last month, I have found true contentment.  I know it is ultimately found in Christ alone, but in our modern, technologically advance society where everyone has all they need and more, I have really learned what this means.  Used to being in a larger city, probably from growing up just outside of San Diego, I don't know that I really believed I could be so pleased in small town USA. 

Sure, Dr. Quinn, Little House On the Prairie and Christy are among every girls dream.  A chance to go back in time and wear a long, flowy dress is what we dream of and giggle about late at night, even after mom has been in the room to tell us to go back to bed for the third time already.  But when you grow up and find yourself in a small town with Walmart and a few fast food joints, the thrill flies out the window!

As we have learned how to better budget and cut areas of spending to help us until we can sell our home, we have learned how blessed we are.  We have all our needs met and so much more, even now.  I go to bed at night in love with my husband and child, now thanking the Lord for giving them to me for however long He choses.  Each minute is a blessing.  I have never been more content to live in a clean place.  We have beds, food, a car (we are now sharing one as our Exploder was donated to the "Make a Wish Foundation"... was in need of a new transmission), and the Lord keeps providing in amazing ways.

Don't get me wrong, life is not easy or perfect.  Often when He has provided a safety net in our planning, we find a few months later that it is taken from us.  He keeps providing and then placing us perfectly according to His plan, so that He has us dependent on Him.  And what else is better than being in God's hands, knowing He will provide and just waiting to see how His hand will move.  Faith.  He is leading the blind, who do not see the big plan.  And, I have finally felt true contentment amidst the unknown.  I know He will always meet our needs.  How can I not trust Him when I have seen His faithfulness over and over?  Will I forget His faithfulness the minute I do not see the solution to the problem?

Have you found true contentment and peace?  Are you thankful for what you have and where God has placed you?  I know that I will find myself challenged many times in life, and that each time I will have to revisit where I will place my faith.  I only pray that Christ will give me the strength to always trust. There is nothing as peaceful as living assured that He is God and He is faithful. 

Abide.

As I sat on the couch with our tired and restless, almost eight month old, daughter, I was filled with an overwhelming sense that this was utter bliss.  Perfection brought in the form of a child; that is, when she would sit still.  She fought the urge to cry and wiggle, only to cry more when I would put her down.  We finally put the toys away and I firmly hugged her against my chest and rubbed her back.  Comfort was found when she popped her thumb in her mouth and began sucking.  It took no more than five minutes before I was cuddling the cutest and sweetest, sleeping baby. 

I sat and held her for about twenty minutes, soaking in the moment; as this child now spends her moments crawling, standing, playing, and moving, moving, moving.  I was reminded of how the Father holds me and comforts me so often these days.  Time and time again, He has proven Himself faithful though He has no obligation to do so.  He must long for the moments that I will just rest in His presence and fully trust, allowing no room for doubt or fear to creep in.  All the while, waiting for me to stop fighting my insecurities and just believe. 

The God who created the universe is the same God; He has not changed.  He is just as faithful and just as able.  Yet, how easy it is to forget or let my fears cause me to doubt the Savior who just wants me to abide.  I realized I was just like the Isrealites I read about yesterday, that continuously saw God's hand at work and so quickly forgot who their Savior was when times got hard.

"Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says, 'Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion on the day of testing in the wilderness, where your fathers put me to the test and saw my works for forty years.  Therefore I was provoked with that generation, and said, "They always go astray in their hearts; they have not known my ways.'  As I swore in my wrath, They shall not enter my rest.'"  Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God."  Hebrews 3:7-12 (ESV)

Sitting, holding our daughter, I pondered these things.  Two words spoke softly in my mind.  The first was to abide.  I thought, "How true."  The Lord just wants me to choose to "abide" putting all else aside and choosing to remain in Him. 

And then the word, held reminded me I was wrapped in the Father's loving embrace.  I also was being "held".  I first thought how different the words were, that I did not give Riley the choice to be held but I could choose to abide in the Father.  And then I realized how alike they were.  The Father does not force us to be held.  And, Riley, fought her way out of my arms so many times.  Utter perfection only came when she chose to be comforted by my loving arms. 

Wondering if I just thought of these words on my own, I looked them up in Strong's Concordance. In reference to place, abide means, "to be held, kept, continually" and in reference to time it means, "to continue to be, not to perish, to last, endure".  How beautiful and perfect.  The Father wants us to abide in Him as he tells us in the book of John, "abide in me"; meaning stay with me always so that I can hold you.  We never need to leave the Father's arms; it is our choice when we become anxious.

Abiding in our Savior does mean to remain in Him.  But it also means choosing to be held in His steadfast arms at all times, trusting in His sovereign plan even when you want to question His plan, curse Him, doubt He is able, or weep in angry bitterness.  Choose the Father today.  Let the Him hold His child in utter bliss by choosing to abide in Him.

This is Who I Am (Shane & Shane)

"This is who I am

I've been born again
the Cross is my defense, my hope secured
now my life is in Your Hand
on Your every word I stand
Lord I’m finding who I am in all you are"

These lyrics in particular play over and over in my mind when I hear this song.  The whole piece is perfection; it is all for the glory of the Lord.  God we ask that you receive all glory and honor and praise.  You are everything!

Riley's New Pass Time

Rummaging through her toy basket!

Monumental

"Mama."

I am a mom and loving every minute of it!  This very minute I am watching the new version of "Charlotte's Web" and Wilbur is reminding me of Bentley.  Oh how I miss my buddy!  Riley is in bed and we are watching a kids movie.  We have turned a new corner in life; it is different and perfect.

Today after nap time, Riley did her usual cry and babbled her new words, "Mama mama mama bam ba ba ma" beckoning me to come and get her from her prison.  I walked in to find her standing in her crib for the first time!  Earlier last week I was amazed and giddy to find her sitting in her crib, and in between the two monumental moments was her first word, "Mama".  And what a sweet whispering to my soul.  Knowing she favors the sound "ba" I don't think she first associated the meaning with the word, but we have been working on the meaning and who "Mama" and "Dada" are.  As of today, we have heard both.  I truly think she knows who "Mama" is, but that could be debatable.  We are working on signing that deal soon. 

Last night I had a dream that Riley was Brenton's and my baby but for whatever reason we could not have her.  How wonderful to wake up to our baby waiting for me, saying my name and ready for a poopy diaper change. 

My cup overflows.

Summer's Up and School is Back, or at Least Will Be Soon!

"Hello!" After 3 weeks of traveling and transition, we are back home again.  However, coming up this time was to a clean townhome rather than our mouse happy rental in the country.  Thank you Jesus for a sanitary place now that Riley has taken to crawling, rolling, sitting, and standing, though varied versions of each.  Brenton calls is crawling, I call it lazy.  Two knees forward, bobble and a lunge; that's all it takes for our sweet girl to get to her toys.  Sometimes she throws in a leg kick or a roll before taking on her crawling stance to move both knees again before lunging to the next victim.

Only one time has she pulled herself up on the ottoman to standing position, though she frequently tries to use me as her steadying pole.  And we woke up this morning to find her in sitting position, leaning all the way forward and, yet, still fast a sleep.  Sitting is like crawling.  She has sat up on her own, though she prefers to lean forward and tumble into a role rather than exert the energy to sit and play.  Really, Riley is far from lazy as every minute awake is spent moving, and if she has help trying to stand.  I think the little girl wants to walk rather than crawl. 

As you can tell, Riley's swirl of hair on top of her head has grown tremendously.  The gel mohawk is from trying to remove her cradle's cap.  Think we got it!

So the reason we have been MIA for the past month...

The first week of July, we were enjoyed the fireworks from our neighbors house and the 4th of July celebration in small town Jellico, an even smaller town than Williamsburg... which is small.  We found out that we were going to get campus housing so Brenton can now walk to work.  Perfect timing as we were about to head out on vacation and return just in time for Brenton to prep for pre-season with the University of the Cumberlands Men's Soccer team.

The next week, my family picked me up as the whole Dongell crew headed to Nana's farm in North Carolina.  Brenton, ever so sweet, headed up a soccer camp in Kentucky and hurried back for a New Student Orientation for the college, missing the time at the farm.  Third week of July, the Dongell crew drove to the beach for the better part of the week and Brenton meet up with us.  Riley loved the wind and the water, as if the tongue is not a good enough indicator of that!  She is a girl after her daddy's heart as she was sad to depart from the daily water outings.

And the fourth week, we were able to visit Brenton's parents and family in Texas as we had two airline tickets expiring the month of July.  We flew standby, amazed that Riley did as well as she did and loving the business right outside of Dallas, Texas.  Brenton was in heaven as he had all his favorites; Chipotle, Jamba Juice, Starbucks, In-N-Out, and QT.

The weather was amazingly HOT and Riley sported a heat rash our whole time there but we loved visiting the Benwares and the Fords.

And the last few days of the month, we hurried back to have our country rental cleaned out and get our campus housing all settled.  I think we are about there.  We got internet just yesterday, so forgive my month of blogging negligence.  We are now back in session!

Riley is napping and Brenton is hard at work as his second assistant just made his way into town.  The boys arrive for pre-season soon and NAIA is delaying in decisions regarding international players.  So you can watch with us as we see how the Cumberland's Men's Soccer team shapes up this season!  Just make sure you follow University of the Cumberlands in Kentucky as there is another university similar in name that makes it easy to get confused.  Until next time!

Summer Lovin'

And yet another successful trip to Asheville last weekend!  Congratulations to Josh and Keri Riccardi who's new marriage gave us a wonderful excuse to head back into town.  The mountain breeze and live music floating on the wind graced our lovely mountain views during the ceremony and reception.  Riley casually hung out with the nannies and other kiddos able to attend.  Once again we heard what a happy child we have, as we found her entertaining herself on the floor.  

For those of us old enough to eat adult food, we enjoyed catering by the Biltmore and Cold Stone.  I have to say the wedding rock it just from the fact that they had a Cold Stone station, yummy!  We enjoyed visiting with some of Brenton's Montreat players and co-workers.

As always, Brenton worked hard at the landscape of our home, we pick raspberries and enjoyed walking on the lively streets of downtown Asheville at night.  And our wonderful neighbors in Kentucky let us borrow their pool upon our return, as you see below.  It has been a week of summer lovin', that's for sure.

And woohoo for my sister Jen who had her third baby.  Their first little girl, Kirra Ashlyn, was born mid-June and we have been told looks much like her cousin Riley.  We'll let you know what we think in a few weeks when we meet her!

Sepia Update

Here's our sepia collage of the past few weeks...

• Family Pictures at the Moonbow
• Riley discovering the full roll and now loving her belly
• Riley becoming a tongue-aholic
• An unexpected breakfast with Nana, Aunt Esther & Becca

"Moonbow": Silly or Not, It is Real!

provided by: unusualkentucky.blogspot.com

So I feel silly even saying "moonbow", like I've made up a childish word.  However, I am here to say it is a very real thing.  It is a rainbow but somehow caused by a full moon over Cumberland Falls.  Yes, this is the same waterfall I just posted pictures of a few weeks back.  We remembered a full moon was coming up so we went to the moonbow early this past week.  It wasn't quite as breath-taking as this picture I found on the internet, though it was pretty amazing. 

A few days before we went to see the moonbow, we visitied Cumberland Falls again during daylight and it was a whole new experience from our very first trip.  The water was clear, clean and the view was stunning.  I saw what all the craze was about.  Then we went to the moonbow, so peaceful and perfectly made by an architect in Heaven.  It was dark and quiet, all except the majestic roar of the falls, and perfectly accented with the sparkling stars.

I forgot a flashlight at home and the phones in the car, so we had to use the camera to guide our steps.  It was all a little uneven and sandy, thankfully Brenton carried the baby so I didn't have to worry about the safety of our child.

~~~~~~~~~

What else is new, we are attending a small community church and I mean small.  It is a bit unorthodox, not your average Sunday service.  Yet, we have found a beautiful community of believers that is very intentional with those around them.  It is a reminder of beginning with making a difference in the everyday, and that sometimes change is just seeing one life changed.  The impact is far greater than one will ever know, as many of the planted seeds may never even be seen.  And the fact that it is a small community has made it impossible to keep from getting involved; what great accountability!

Riley is rolling and moving; now trying to figure out crawling, though I pressume she still has a while until she will get that down.  She is drooling and teething; often with random outburst from her aching gums, just waiting for the first tooth to peek out.  And she got her first lightening bug last night, one daddy gave her.  Sadly she decided to squish it rather than look at it.  I tried to save the booger but her grip on the bug got tighter and tighter with no luck.  Brenton thought it was all rather funny.  

Our Rolling Machine

While this video doesn't show justice, our little gal has gotten down the rolling business.  She can roll back to stomach and stomach to back now!

Cumberland Falls (Williamsburg, Kentucky)

 Thanks for the cool hiking gear, that was passed down from the Fralic family!

Memorial Day weekend, we took a trip to Cumberland Falls about a half hour from our place.  Here in Kentucky, it is compared to the great Niagra Falls. I do have to give credit to the fact that it is a huge waterfall and oh so powerful.  It is amazing how calm and quiet the river is just up to the heart pounding drop; truly one of the next biggest waterfall I have seen next to Niagra.  However, the brown water and the waterfall just did not quiet seem "Niagra"esque.  It is truly amazing that we have such beautiful scenery basically in our backyard.  Oh yes, and at night during a full moon, the falls apparently have a "moonbow".  That will have to be an adventure for later this summer!

We hiked for a few hours to another smaller falls were you see from the picture the water is a beautiful turquoise.  Brenton wanted to do the hike behind the falls but was limited with our little gal on his back.  Riley, she loved the adventure out but was ready to get home and out of the warm weather. 

I discovered that there are black bear here as well, not surprising considering we are still in the Appalachian mountians.  They are not talked about much here and it does not seem like they are really seen where we live but the national park where the falls were had signs alerting us of the natural habitat.  Our Asheville neighbors have sent, "Hellos" along with stories of a mama black bear and her cubs that are visiting the neighborhood these days. 

Lexi is loving summer and longingly gazes out at the pasture from our porch, as the heat has limited her activity this week.  The heat and the sun are welcomed, though a little draining as our air unit cannot keep up with the intensity of it.  Considering we are still in the mountains, I didn't expect such humid heat, though Williamsburg seems to have it every year, according to the locals.

I attempted to be a part of the community yard sale this past Saturday.  It was a failure as I had only made $0.75 by noon and had seen maybe two cars stop by.  Brenton got a kick out of it, at least.  By the end of the day I think I had accumulated about $18.  Enough to make up for the melted cupcakes I had made to sell and our recent Starbucks trip.  Had fun chatting with the neighbor ladies though and got a homemade doughnut from the local bakery, yummm!

And we finished our Saturday night having hamburgers with our worship pastor and his wife.  We are attending a small, small church of about 30 on Sunday mornings.  There are a great core of staff members that are bi-vocational and have been serving our Williamsburg community of mountain people for a little over 5 years.  (If you ever watched or read Christy, it would the be the modern day equivalent.  We live in a very poor and uneducated area.)  We are really enjoying the community of believers we have been meeting and have connected with a small group as well.

I will sign off until next time as get up to check on Lexi and watch the elegant evening sky turn purple.

Sweet, tired little Riley at the end of the day and energized Daddy ready for the next adventure!  "Wanna go again next weekend?"

Thunderstorms Across the Valley

So our meals have improved a bit since the last journal. This week we had a spiced breakfast for dinner, eggs, pumpkin muffins and Kraft's "Pear Spice" recipe (pear with crushed vanilla wafer and cinnamon cool whip). We got creative as I have had the pumpkin bread mix in my cupboards since Christmas. The first month after having Riley Grace I took a bit of a break from cooking; now we are getting back around to everything I had once considered baking. Which reminds me that I still have peanutbutter balls in the freezer from Christmas! Wonder how long those will be good; guess I need to buy some chocolate chips to melt after our next trip to Walmart.

I'm currently watching one of our many summer storms clear through our eastern Kentucky valley. The view from our humble rental is absolutely stunning. We are set in a lush valley surrounded by green mountains. Not as large as the mountains in the heart of Asheville, but just as majestic as I watch lightening strike across the dark sky and listen to rain pellets pound on our roof. How mighty is our God.

I was wishing tonight that we had a covered porch like the one from our childhood parsonage in North Carolina (Dongell parsonage). I remember watching the thunderstorms from a safe, dry place, while cuddled in my parents' arms. And only because we are living in the south, do I also feel the need for an ice cold sweet tea from my Nana. Sorry Mama B, I did say sweet tea! My husband and his Texas family think that unsweetened tea is better but I am afraid I will always beg to differ that the south has learned best how to make tea. The secret, tons of sugar boiled in with the tea bags and water.

And just as quick as it came, the thunderstorm in our valley has passed. I had forgotten how much they used to scare me and how quickly they come and go. Ironic, I suppose this is much like storms in life.

May Madness

Our Spring Sweetie

Two Peas in a Pod

Trip to Asheville for Yard Maintenance

After all our hard work, signs of a yard are visible.  What once was a patch of woods is now close to manicured.  We will be sad to not live here but glad to see what is in store next.